the glamorous life of the kardashian sisters.

I thoroughly enjoy the Kardashians. I love them on a healthy level. I watch their E! shows on occasion, and am attracted to magazines with them on the cover. I don't follow them on Twitter or anything stalkerish, but I am looking forward to Kim and Kourtney's show that premiers tonight. Yes, we are on a first name basis.

The three Kardashian sisters, Kourtney, Kim and Khloe are outrageously popular, purely for being themselves. They are savvy business women, but this is not what attracts us to them. We love their crude humor and ridiculous arguments. They have flaws that we can relate to. Their autobiograpy, Kardashian Konfidential, hit the shelves in November. It is obvious that they wrote every word, because it is a little hard to follow at times, and there were points when I felt like the outsider to some inside joke. I didn't mind, but I did find myself thinking, WHAT ARE THESE BITCHES TALKING ABOUT? Every so often.

An extremely cool aspect of this autobiography are the personal items and pictures included. The girls had actual notes, valentines day and birthday cards copied onto the pages. Some were written by their parents, (Kris, and their late father, Robert), and some were written to each other. Anyone who is curious about the three sisters' teenage years will find this book extremely interesting. Also iincluded are childhood pictures, and of course gorgeous photos of their less awkward years.

A must read for every Kardashian fan.

the BADASS girl with the dragon tattoo.

I've been out of commission for a while, and with good reason! I went traipsing around Europe after Christmas, and returned with bronchitis. That's what I get for being so fabulous.

During my time in bed, (a week and a half so far, because bronchitis loves to hang around for weeks and turn into lots of other lovely sicknesses), I finally got the chance to read a book that I have putting off for years. Yes, years. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I received this book to review years ago, and just kept avoiding it. I knew it was a trilogy, and I didn't know if I wanted to be sucked in. I am a busy girl after all, and I WILL become addicted to a series and not be able to do anything else but read until each book has ended. That is exactly what has happened to me with this series by the late Stieg Larsson.

I read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo at the perfect time. The movie is already out on DVD, which I am sure will just piss me off like most movies based on books, but it will get me through until I have the time to read the next installment, The Girl Who Played with Fire. (Technically The Girl Who Played with Fire was reviewed on this blog in 2009 but it was from a friend's perspective, I have not read it yet myself).

The "girl" is named Lisbeth Salander, and she is as mysterious as these book titles. She's lived a tough life, growing up in foster care, and being taken advantage of because she is a bit strange, and female. She is excellent at her job as a researcher for a security company. Her boss does not understand her, but will give her space, and treats her with respect, something that is a rarity in Lisbeth's life.

This book is not solely about this socially awkward girl with a dragon tattoo. It begins with a journalist named Mikael Blomkvist who is on trial for libel, and is convicted. His misfortune is another mans gain, because he is desperate enough to take on an impossible job, hired by Henrik Vanger, of one of Sweden's wealthiest families. Blomkvist is to figure out what happened to a member of the family who vanished, thirty-six years before. Harriet Vanger disappeared when she was sixteen-years-old, without a trace. Her uncle, Henrik has been desperately trying to solve the case for decades. He is eighty-two years old and Blomkvist is his last hope.

The trails run cold for a while, and just as Blomkvist is realizing how stark raving mad he is to take on such a job, the trails turn from ice cold to burning hot. With the help of Salander and her impeccable research skills, they solve the case of Harriet Vanger. While doing so, they accidentally stumble across the answers to numbers of unsolved murders in Sweden.

Whatever you have imagined in your head, the story is ten times more awful and disgusting. Now, don't let that turn you off, I couldn't put this book down for days.

merry christmas from the 80's.

southern cookin'

I love southern cooking. I was lucky enough to live in South Carolina for half a year, and got to experience A LOT (about 10lbs worth) of amazing food. The seafood is just amazing, don't even get me started on crab legs and grouper fingers, we will be here all day. 

The Complete Southern Cookbook by Tammy Algood is an absolute godsend. As I mentioned a few months ago, I have been self-teaching myself how to cook, and these "down-home" recipes are a great asset to my collection. This cookbook has every southern delicacy you could possibly think of, and the format is great. It is separated into alphabetical sections based on the main ingredient, for example: bacon, beans, beef, beets, etc. I started off small, and cannot wait to try all of the recipes that have caught my eye. To prove to you that the best things in life are in fact free, I will type out the recipe for the most delicious sausage gravy you have ever tasted in your life.

Ingredients:

¼ pound ground pork sausage, hot or mild
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
3 ¼ cups milk
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon black pepper

Brown the sausage in a large skillet over medium heat, stirring until it crumbles. Drain on paper towels and set aside.
Reduce the heat to low and reserve 1 tablespoon of the drippings in the skillet. Add the butter, stirring until it melts. Add the flour, stirring until smooth. Cook 1 minute, stirring occasionally.
Gradually add the milk and increase the heat to medium. Stir constantly until thick and bubbly, about 4 minutes. Add the reserved sausage, salt and pepper. Cook 2 minutes more, stirring constantly. Serve warm, makes three cups.

You're welcome.

you cannot get more real than this.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a close relationship with their grandmother, I am one of the lucky ones. I am extremely close with my maternal grandmother, who is very close with my mother, and since I am also very close with my mother, we are a bit of a clique. BFF's if you will.

(my grandmother, Alice)

Author Adriana Trigiani is also one of the lucky ones, the luckiest kind. She had the opportunity to have a relationship with both of her grandmothers. She was fortunate enough to have them both on earth until she was in her thirties, and in her first non-fiction book, Don't Sing at the Table: Life Lessons from My Grandmothers, we are given the opportunity to get to know these two extraordinary women.

You will get the chance to meet the grandmothers, Lucy and Viola and see how they helped shape this author into the woman she is today. Trigiani took their lessons to heart, and applied them in her own life. Lucy and Viola were so honest and real, it's easy to see that they loved as much as they were loved. The knowledge and values of these women, along with Trigiani's renowned storytelling and wit, can be appreciated by everyone.

sweet stories about very special cats.

My love for animals is a bit irrational. In movies, I cry more when a pet dies than a human. Don't even get me started on Where the Red Fern Grows. I am aware that I am not normal. For those of you who are like me, and even you toned down versions, you will absolutely love, love, LOVE the stories in Dewey's Nine Lives: The Legacy of the Small-Town Library Cat Who Inspired Millions by Vicki Myron.

I for one am a cat person. I like dogs and all, but cats are SO easy. I am all for easy when it comes to easing myself into parenthood. Meet my first born son, Alfonso Plato Horton. 

Now back to Dewey, whose story is much more interesting than Alfonso's. Dewey became a library cat in 1988. As a kitten he was shoved into the book return slot of the Spencer Public Library, and after winning over the librarians, he won over the entire town. Dewey was a friend to all who came into this library. The children who were stuck there until close waiting for their parents to get out of work, had Dewey. He was a comfort to the jobless and the lonely.

Author Vicki Myron wrote a book about Dewey back in 2008. Many readers wrote to Vicki telling her how Dewey impacted their lives, and also shared stories of their own feline friends. Dewey's Nine Lives incorporates these stories and also shares more stories of Dewey, the cat who managed to wrap an Iowa town around his paws. 

there are non-gross, interesting facts in here too, really!

I never thought a book titled Why You Should Store Your Farts in a Jar would be so incredibly brilliant. David Haviland, I don't know you, or why you create books like this and Why Dogs Eat Poop, but you are clearly smarter than your maturity level. 

Just like his previous collection of useless facts, this new installment of gross maladies definitely makes you stop and think. Was Hitler addicted to crystal meth? Did a large breasted girl inspire the invention of the stethoscope? On a more serious note, why do boxers drink their own urine? 

These are the hard hitting questions that you have clearly been searching for the answers to. Search no longer, this book comes out December, 30th. The publisher of this book sent me TWO give-a-way copies, so if you'd like a chance to win a copy of this masterpiece BEFORE it even hits the shelves, e-mail your name, address and this book title to: jenileerose@yahoo.com!